Zajímalo vás někdy, jak se můžete zbavit vašich negativních pocitů a myšlenek?

Určitě si snadno vzpomenete na nějaký moment, kdy jste stáli před konkrétním rozhodnutí a ze strachu z následků jste se rozhodli pro to pohodlnější řešení. Nebo například nešťastná rána, která často zažíváme. Co tím myslím? Znáte takové ty dny, do kterých vykročíte levou nohou? Hned ráno se stane něco, co vám absolutně pokazí náladu a veze se to s vámi celý den. Zaspíte, přijdete pozdě do práce, s někým se pohádáte, nic se vám nedaří. Možná si to nepřipouštíte, ale právě jedna jediná negativní myšlenka může pokazit celý den.

Někdy k nám ale přichází bez zjevného důvodu. Jsme v pořádku, hledíme si svého, nic nás netrápí a najednou se nám do hlavy začnou vtírat myšlenky, které by tu vůbec neměly být a které bychom nejraději zahrabali někam hluboko do šuplíku. Může jít o špatné vzpomínky nebo obavy z budoucnosti. Důvodů je spousty.

Negativní myšlenky jsou také častým důvodem problémů se spánkem. Uložíme se do postele a těšíme se, že se konečně dobře vyspíme. Mozek si ale řekne „kdepak, dneska tě budu bombardovat těmi nejhoršími představami, které vyštrachám z největších hlubin tvé mysli.“ Paráda, fakt díky. A další 2 hodiny přemýšlíme nad nepravděpodobnými scénáři a zabýváme se pro nás v tu chvíli zbytečnými věcmi.

Z toho důvodu jsem pro vás sepsala 7 kroků, které vám pomůžou osvobodit se od těchto negativních myšlenek, které mají mnohdy mnohem větší moc, než se může zdát.

1.) Nejste to, co si myslíte.

Každý den nám běží v hlavě takový hlásek. Neustále. Pořád nad něčím přemýšlíme. Jestli jsme na něco nezapomněli, co budeme dělat příští týden, co uvaříme k večeři. Každý den nám proběhne hlavou více jak 20 000 myšlenek. Je velmi nepravděpodobné, že by se mezi nimi neobjevilo spousta negativních.

Když se nad tím tak zamyslíte – jak nahlížíte na své myšlenky? Můžete je zastavit, když se vám chce, že? Můžete si říct, že teď budete myslet na něco jiného, nebo že na určitou věc nebudete myslet vůbec. To znamená, že jste odděleni od svých myšlenek. Vy nejste vaše myšlenky. Když zažíváte nějaký příjemný moment, většinou v tu chvíli na nic jiného nemyslíte. Prostě si jen vychutnáváte onen okamžik. Horkou sprchu, západ slunce, ranní kávu…

Vaše myšlenky prostě přicházejí a odcházejí. Vy jste modrá obloha a vaše myšlenky jsou jen mráčky, které si plují kolem. Přijdou… a zase zmizí. Nemusíme myšlenky poslouchat, když nechceme.

Další skutečností je, že naše myšlenky vůbec nemusí být pravdivé. Proč se zabývat něčím, co by se mohlo stát, když to neovlivníme? Proč přemýšlet na minulostí, když ji nezměníme? Jediná věc, která je zde skutečná je přítomný okamžik a to, co děláme v tuto chvíli. Nic jiného zkrátka neexistuje.

Negativní myšlenky ovšem mají svůj původ. Zpravidla se jedná o myšlenky, které se váží k našim předchozím zkušenostem a zážitkům – například když se nám na nějakém místě stalo něco hodně špatného, pravděpodobně se tam už nebudeme chtít vrátit. A to platí i pro věci, které se nám jednou nepodařily a tak je nechceme znova dělat. Myšlenky jsou výplodem našeho ega, které se nás snaží udržet v bezpečí. Naše mysl je totiž nastavena tak, aby se vyhýbala všemu, co by nás mohlo ohrozit. Velký podíl na zdroji našich myšlenek má i společnost, která nám moc ráda říká, co bychom měli dělat a jak bychom měli žít. Srovnáváme se s lidmi, kteří vedou z našeho pohledu lepší život, mají více věcí a my máme pocit, že nás nikdo nedocení a že nejsme dost dobří. Důležité ale přitom je, abychom byli dobří sami pro sebe, ne pro ostatní.

2.) Pozorujte své myšlenky, ale nenechte je stát se vaší součástí

Myšlenky tu byly, jsou a vždy budou. Dokonce i ti nejúspěšnější lidé mají negativní myšlenky. Je nemožné vytrénovat mysl tak, aby neobsahovala žádné negativní myšlenky. Je ale možné naučit se, jak své myšlenky třídit.

To, že tu jsou totiž vůbec neznamená, že jim musíme naslouchat. Můžeme je smést ze stolu a říct si „další, prosím“.

Nemůžeme si vybrat, jaké myšlenky nám přijdou na mysl. To zkrátka neovlivníme. Ale můžeme si vybrat, jak na ně zareagujeme. Jestli se jimi necháme pohltit a začneme se zabývat něčím, co pro nás v tuto chvíli nemá žádný smysl, nebo jestli se jim zasmějeme a začneme myslet na něco pozitivního.

Další věc, která opravdu pomáhá, je představit si sebe jako pozorovatele myšlenek. Tedy jsme pouze pozorovatelé, ne soudci. Sledujete svou myšlenku a místo abyste se jí začali zabývat, prozkoumáte ji jako nezaujatý pozorovatel a rozhodnete se, jestli tuto myšlenku chcete, nebo ne. Když ne, pošlete ji pryč. Jako mráček na obloze, který odfoukl vítr.

Teď si schválně vybavte nějakou negativní myšlenku, kterou vám mozek pořád dokola našeptává. Máte ji? Výborně. A teď tuto myšlenku zformulujte ve slova a představte si, že tato slova říká nějaká komická kreslená postavička. Třeba Mickey Mouse. Už to tak důležitě nezní, že? Tento hlásek ve své hlavě můžete nazvat jakkoliv. Může to být hloupý spolubydlící nebo právě kreslená postavička, která vám upištěným hláskem povídá tyto myšlenky. Díky tomuto „cvičení“ je docela snadné se jakékoliv myšlence zasmát.

3.) Soustřeďte se na přítomnost

Představte si, že vaše negativní myšlenky jsou jako hlasitá rádiová stanice. Když se vám tato stanice nelíbí, stačí přepnout na jinou stanici – na přítomný okamžik. Přestaňte se zabývat vším, co se neděje teď.

Uvědomte si vše, co máte okolo sebe. Vaše nohy, jak se dotýkají podlahy nebo jak spočívají na posteli. Vaše ruce a čeho se dotýkají. Uvědomte si sami sebe v prostoru, který vás obklopuje. Zaposlouchejte se. Co slyšíte? Možná auto v dálce, zvuky přírody nebo sousedy. Zkuste vnímat všechny tyto zvuky. Neanalyzujte je, jen je poslouchejte. Rozhlédněte se kolem sebe. Co vidíte? Prozkoumejte očima každý detail vašeho okolí. Co cítíte? Všímejte si všech drobností okolo vás – je tu tolik věcí, na které se můžete soustředit. Vnímejte a buďte TEĎ.

Můžeme si vybrat, jestli se zaměříme na naše myšlenky, nebo na přítomnost. Samozřejmě že čím více to trénujete, tím snadněji to jde, ale vždy si můžete vybrat.

Určete si jeden moment každý den, kdy se budete soustředit na přítomnost. Může to být třeba čištění zubů, snídaně, procházka se psem nebo cesta do školy/práce. Je to úplně jedno. Vyberte si jednu věc a po celou dobu, co ji vykonáváte, se soustřeďte na přítomný okamžik. Je úplně normální, že se přesto ponoříte do myšlenek – jakmile si toho všimnete, přesuňte se opět do přítomnosti.

4.) Pokuste se přepnout na pozitivní myšlenky

Tento krok je třeba cvičit, jelikož je často těžké dostat se ze špatné nálady a soustředit se jen na to pozitivní. Po nějaké době ho ale nebudete mít problém zvládnout.

Zkuste se zamyslet nad tím, za co můžete být vděční. A myslím tím i takové věci, které vám přijdou naprosto samozřejmé. Vše, co máte, spousta jiných lidí nemá. Zdraví, domov, přátele, rodinu, dostatek financí, teplou postel, čistou vodu, knihy, vzdělání, partnera,… Je tolik věcí, které máme a ani si to neuvědomujeme. Každému nám něco chybí, to ano, ale když se zamyslíte nad tím, co všechno máte, zjistíte, že těch věcí je opravdu nepřeberné množství.

Uvědomte si nekonečné možnosti, které máte. Můžete jít kam chcete. Můžete dělat, co chcete. Myslete na ty, kteří vás mají rádi.

Mluvte sami k sobě. Říkejte si pozitivní věci, jako byste to říkali kamarádovi, kterému chcete zvednout náladu.

„Mám se rád takový, jaký jsem.“

„Mohu si sám tvořit svou realitu a plnit si své sny.“

„Mohu si vybrat klid a optimismus místo negativních myšlenek.“

„Pořád se učím. Nejsem dokonalý a to je v pořádku. Snažím se.“

A toto je pravda. To jste vy. Nemá smysl věřit myšlenkám, které říkají něco jiného – že nejsme dost dobří, že se nemohu hnout z místa, že to dopadne špatně…

Vy nejste vaše ego.

5.) Zaměstnejte se něčím, co děláte rádi

Myslím, že není třeba tento bod rozepisovat. Každý má několik věcí, které rád dělá ve svém volném čase. Pokud se o vás pokoušejí negativní myšlenky, udělejte si alespoň chvilku na tyto aktivity, které vám pomáhají cítit se lépe.

6.) Vypište se

Pokud se vám i tak nedaří zbavit se negativních myšlenek, zkuste se z nich vypsat. Tento bod je ideální v případě, pojí-li se vaše myšlenky s nějakou silnou emocí, jako je strach, vztek nebo žárlivost. Napište vše, co potřebujete, vše, co vám běží hlavou. Vložte do tohoto zápisu co nejvíce emocí.

Až budete hotovi, papír zničte. Roztrhejte ho, spalte ho…

Tento papír takto slouží jako hmotný doklad vašich negativních myšlenek – tím, že ho zničíte, ničíte i tyto myšlenky.

7.) Veďte si myšlenkový deník

Myšlenkový deník je skvělá věc. Jde o techniku, která se používá především při kognitivní behaviorální terapii. Ale nebojte se, žádných terapií se účastnit nemusíte :).

Myšlenkový deník slouží k zaznamenávání našich reakcí na konkrétní situace. Pomáhá k pozdější analýze našich pocitů, emocí a reakcí.

Častým problémem u každého z nás je to, že reagujeme tzv. v afektu. To znamená, že když se na celou situaci podíváme zpětně, většinou usoudíme, že naše reakce byla přehnaná. Verzí myšlenkového deníku je několik, ale my si představíme pouze tu nejjednodušší. Tento deník obsahuje 4 kolonky, které vyplníte pokaždé, když se vás zmocní nějaká špatná emoce. Čím více si budete dělat zápisy, tím větší souvislosti budete schopni vidět.

Nyní si vysvětlíme jednotlivá okénka, která můžete vyplňovat:

  • událost – co přecházelo vašim emocím či reakci (např. Dozvěděla jsem se, že týden mé práce na projektu byl úplně zbytečný)
  • myšlenky nebo chování – co jste si mysleli potom, co se konkrétní věc stala, případně jak jste zareagovali (např. Rozbrečela jsem se, byla jsem nepříjemná na všechny okolo a řekla jsem si, že už na ničem podobném nikdy dělat nebudu)
  • následky – jaké následky měla vaše reakce? (např. Ublížila jsem slovně lidem, kteří vlastně za nic nemohou a udělala jsem zbytečně velkou scénu) 
  • alternativní reakce – když se na to podíváte zpětně, jak jste se podle vás měli zachovat? (např. Mohla jsem to přijmout lépe a nezatahovat do toho ty, kteří za to nemohou + alespoň vím, čemu se mám příště vyvarovat… To, že se něco jednou nepovede neznamená, že se to nepovede i příště)

Tento myšlenkový deník si buďto můžete vytvořit sami, nebo si ho stáhnout z mé blogové knihovny.

Doufám, že vám tento článek alespoň v něčem pomůže!
Mějte se zatím krásně,

Vivian

 

304 thoughts on “7 kroků, kterými zastavíte negativní myšlenky”

  1. Zajímavý článek! Mám jen jednu otázku, nebo spíš podnět k zamyšlení, nevím, jak to nazvat… Píšeš, že nejsme svými myšlenkami, s čímž souhlasím, ale čím vlastně jsme? Nejsme ani našimi emocemi, ty se dokonce často chovají proti naší vůli, takže jimi být nemůžeme. Naše vzpomínky utvářejí velkou část naší osobnosti, ale nejspíš nikdo by o sobě neřekl, že je svými vzpomínkami… Ani naše zájmy a vlastnosti nás úplně nevystihují. Možná jsme prostě součtem toho všeho? Ale jak je potom možné, že se vnímáme uceleně, kde se vlastně bere ten pocit já, ná základě čeho?

    1. Ahoj, moc děkuju! 🙂
      Omlouvám se za pozdní odpověď, měla jsem dost fofr, každopádně ke tvému komentáři:
      Popravdě, nad tímhle jsem se taky zamýšlela, ale spíš z toho pohledu, že na jednu stranu nejsme naše myšlenky, ale na druhou stranu jimi jsme, protože podle toho, na co myslíme, si utváříme svojí realitu. Je to celkově takový paradox.
      Já, ačkoliv nejsem nějaký extrémně duchovně založený člověk, tak věřím na jakousi lidskou podstatu, kterou máme všichni. Jasně, formují nás naše zážitky, vzpomínky, zkušenosti, apod., ale ať se člověku stalo cokoliv, vždycky se od toho může pokusit odprostit a říct si, že odteď si svůj život vytváří jen on sám – a ono to kupodivu funguje!
      Myslím si zkrátka, že v úplném základu jsme všichni stejní – já bych to nazvala asi čistou duší, jestli mě chápeš. A je jen na nás, jak moc se v průběhu života dokážeme odprostit od našeho ega a především od minulosti – a díky tomu si pak sami můžeme určit, kam se dál vydáme.
      Ono je to takové dost ošemetné téma nad kterým by se dalo diskutovat hodiny :)) Důležité je, že ten princip funguje a každý z nás už si může vysvětlit po svém, čím že to vlastně je. 🙂

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